Tag Archives: celebrities

HOLLYWOOD PARTY

4 Mar

 

bdeye

Here’s to you…tube!

 

So….I’ve started a youtube channel called HOLLYWOOD PARTY. I read a lot of books about Old Hollywood, shocker, and I tell you which ones are good and maybe introduce you to some new (old) stars that you might really enjoy. In addition to that, I’ve been writing my book, which is why this blog doesn’t see much action…for now. Please check out the old youtubes, and LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to HOLLYWOOD PARTY.

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Girly Man

3 Jul

You girly man!

So…before I start, I want to say that I do like Nora Ephron movies. They’re fun, the dialogue is cute and they’re great when you’re really depressed (translation:lady times.) I’ve said before that my Dad used to repeatedly quote ‘When Harry Met Sally’ to ensure that I KNEW men and women can not be friends. Got it Dad, everyone wants to bone me…except they’re not.

That said, her movies really started all this overly emotional, girly man, bull crap in films that I HATE. Before her, guys in the movies never sat around, talking about their feelings. Sure, ‘When Harry Met Sally’ might have made me wish I could date a guy who’s my best friend, but if he’s just my best friend, he’s clearly lacking the balls to ask me out and I don’t need to date any more pussies. I’ve had it with talking about feelings, I’ve dated enough gay guys, thank you very much.

Think about it, Clark Gable never cried to one of his bros about some chick dumping him.

I’ll show you dumping. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.

Rock Hudson, who actually was a “sissy”, may chat away to a girl on the phone, but the only feelings discussed would be foreshadowing the major bone session he’s got in mind for later that evening.

Feelings? I’ll give you something to feel later tonight, Doris.

And, it was always believable that he would ravage the virginal, good girl, Doris Day. I don’t think Tom Hanks is capable of ravaging a hamburger, much less showing Meg Ryan who’s boss.

We’re talking…and that’s it.

The overly emotional guys Nora created morphed into sloppy losers of my generation. They can’t catch a girl based on their looks or quick wit, so they sit around and wait until one gets drunk enough to make some poor choices.

I’m supposed to want to date this?

Pre-Nora, Tony Curtis used his noggin and hatched a scheme to get into Natalie Wood’s panties. But, let’s face it, he really wouldn’t have to do much. All he’d have to do is wink at a girl to get her chonies on the ground. (And if you know anything about his real life, he was well aware that, and got crazy, stupid, amounts of ass from everyone.)

Natalie Wood, way hotter than Meg Ryan and Tony Curtis in his prime…beat it Tom Hanks, ya botherin’ me.

And what’s with all the sloppy dressing? For hundreds of years men have managed to dress themselves in a presentable manner, until now. Wearing a suit takes less thought than jeans and a t-shirt AND girls like it better. Being well dressed doesn’t make you gay, but it seems like they’re the only ones who know how to take care of business anymore.

Ironing is for guys who want to get laid. I’d rather cry about my feeling and wipe my tears on my cat’s tail.

‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ is the only modern example of why a man dressing well is a very important factor in getting the ladies. But a half-dozen movies about cry baby slobs came out and erased the public’s memory of this ONE example.

Ryan Gosling: The wrapper is just as good as the filling.

Thank you for your fun movies, Nora, but can men go back to being men now?

TCM Film Festival 2012 Day 4: Diamonds and The Derby

27 Apr

So…no one was stoked that the festival had come to an end. Barely anyone was at breakfast that morning and those who were looked a tired mess. Alan and I went to the 9AM showing of ‘To Catch A Thief.’ Ben Mankiewicz introduced it and told the crowd that when he first started at TCM it was in his contract to have a goatee. If he shaved it off he would be in breach of contract. Apparently, that got cut from his current deal and thank God because he looks great without it.

Not much was said about the movie. The only thing I’d be interested in hearing about would be the affair Grace was said have had with Cary (for SIX YEARS) while she was a princess. Let’s face it, Grace Kelly was a total slut. Mel Brooks quoted Alfred Hitchcock ‘s thoughts on his leading lady, “Grace Kelly was the most promiscuous woman I have ever met.” There’s got to be some good gossip the people at TCM know that should be spread on this topic!

Sweet chola eyebrows you got there.

Alan and I went to our last picture of the festival, ‘Call Her Savage.’ It’s a Pre-Code movie, which meant risque topics, no bras…at all (which the fat dude behind me was quick to point out every hard nipple, sick ass) and full term pregnancies that lasted for one month. Before the show a woman from MoMA came to speak about Clara Bow. She prefaced her speech by saying she’d give us juicy details about Clara. Her spiel was about as juicy as beef jerky. Clara Bow was the very first “IT girl.” She was also off her nut, crazy. Her mother tried to kill Clara while she was sleeping, which lead to life long insomnia problems. Clara was also diagnosed with schizophrenia and became a rancher.

That, my good lady, is juicy.

I found the entire movie online, above, and it was one weird frickin’ movie. It was an early talkie so the story doesn’t really have a format like movies today. It’s basically the story of a love child, half Indian (savage), half white girl and her frustration about being so wild. Watch it if you want, it’s kooky.

Since the weather was great…finally— on the last day, Alan and I sat out by the pool. Roger joined us and we watched everyone frolic in the water. Ok, we sat there and judged the crazy looking people at the pool. Tatted up chicks, big hairy guys with pony tails and plate sized nipples. Total fashion plates. Not that I’m one to talk, check this out:

Painfully Pale.

My legs glow. We took a few photos to make sure it wasn’t the camera, but my legs see the light of day almost never and because of this, they are blinding. I did not get the nice, tan-able genes. I don’t belong in the sun and this is proof, thank you British DNA.

Paleface: Clearly, Roger enjoys the sun more frequently than myself.

After about an hour, I had to go inside. We went to a panel about the Brown Derby. I had recently blogged about it, so I was very eager to learn more. Apparently Louella Parson’s had her staff meetings there every week and wanted something low fat put on the menu. The grapefruit cake was born. Grapefruit isn’t fattening but the POUND of butter in the cake totally is. Apparently that cake is Tippi Hedren’s favorite. I don’t love grapefruit, so you can keep that cake Tippi. The day the ‘I Love Lucy’ episode at the Derby premiered, the stars of the show had a big bash at the restaurant. William Frawley, Fred Mertz, introduced Joe Dimaggio to Marilyn Monroe at the Derby as well.

Can you name all the stars' caricatures?

There was a Q&A session afterwards and one guy asked, “Do you know what happened to the Coconut Grove or Ciro’s?” I loudly said to Roger, “How about Google it, lazy ass.” Bitchy yes, but true. The man running the show didn’t really know. Afterwards, I went over to the guy and told him what happened to all the old Hollywood hot spots. He was upset (!!) that the man speaking wrote a book solely based on the Brown Derby and didn’t write a book about other locations. I told him, “Well, you could write one,” and his mother, whom he was traveling with, agreed.

I found Roger and Alan who had found the King of the Krazies. Holy crap. I walked up and this guy, Bob, was bobbing and weaving into my personal space. (And by personal space, I mean I could feel his breath on me.) He told us he had an eye transplant, died on the operating table and will live to see the second coming of Christ, he used to work for Bill Gates, he dug up his dead uncle to get the $8,000 he was buried with…you know, that old chestnut.

We broke away from the crazy train and Alan took me to an (early) birthday dinner at The Grill. He had steak, I had short ribs, it was great and bittersweet because the Festival was on it’s homestretch.

Robert Osborne and myself.

There was a end of road party at Club TCM as well as a line to see Robert Osborne. He wasn’t mingling at breakfasts in the mornings so I waited in line to see him. He told me the festival was a permanent thing now, I snapped a photo and as I got out of line, saw that it had turned into a good hour long cue. Thank God I got there early!

We also got to meet Randal Malone, never heard of him…that’s ok, he’s been in a lot of horror movies and Vincent Price helped craft his “look.”

This guy knows EVERYONE!

He knew/knows all the big stars of Hollywood past. I thought he was partly B.S.-ing me but he is totally legit. He even spoke at Ginger Roger’s funeral! He talked to us about Liza and Mickey Rooney, Luise Rainer and a bunch more. I could have listened to his stories all night but a body guard came and whisked him away.

Ben Mankiewicz

I chatted with Ben Mankiewicz for a while and told him he looks  much better without the goatee. He said the men in charge of the network were the ones who wanted it. I told him that it’s the young female viewers who aren’t close to death that the network should be worried about retaining/pleasing. Earlier that day I was buying some notepads at the little TCM shop in the lobby and Ben was trying to get the cashier’s attention from upstairs. He got it, as well as a nice eye full of my chest.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who talks with their hands.

Because of that he told me he’d seen me earlier that day. “Yep,” I said, “I know. I hope you enjoyed the view.” He knew what I meant and  he did.

Booze Lesson: Lemon Drops are made with VODKA not Tequila, dummy.

I also ordered a lemon drop and the weird little waiter brought me the only lemon drop ever made with tequila. Roger drank mine because I hate that kind of booze…yuck!

Zillah’s daughter introduced me to a mayor of a town in New Jersey. I can’t remember the name of the town but the mayor was super nice. I cruised the room with my favorite Club TCM host, Eric, and played the who’s gay, who’s not gay guessing game. We both have atrocious gaydar.

Zillah, Eric and I before getting booted out of the party at midnight.

After the Club closed at midnight we went to the pool and chatted near the heaters. I learned that Zillah used to sing with Mama Cass…who also stole her gloves, what a jerk.

We didn't start the fire.

After four days and 10 movies, it was sad to say goodbye to my TCM friends but it was a great festival. Next year, hopefully they’ll schedule it later in April for better weather and to coincide with my birthday!

TCM Film Festival 2012 Day 3: Dignity, Always Dignity

20 Apr

"You know what your problem is? You don't live, live, LIVE!"

So…I woke up on Saturday with a full knowledge that part of my day would be spent with Debbie Reynolds. That means, at least once this year, I woke up in a good mood. I met Alan at Club TCM for breakfast, during which there was a panel about ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.’ There goes my good mood!

Some day my coffee will come!

It was actually pretty interesting. The lady in charge of the Disney Archives was there. She not only talked about Snow White, but talked about 20,000 Leagues as well. The girls sitting in the booth with us were ALL about Disney. I could see one of them wanting to talk to me about it after they heard me answer something Alan had asked me about the the D23 Expo in Anaheim. My Bea Arthur look told her to think again.

The first movie we saw was ‘Auntie Mame’ at the Egyptian. I have always loved that movie, partly because Mame reminds me of my own Grandma. Very eccentric while being oddly lovable.  (My Mom thinks Grandma is more like Debbie Reynolds. Sorry Mom, “Life’s a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death,” sounds more like Grandma, right?) Todd Oldham spoke before hand about style. Set design and costumes are one of the most important parts of that film and both are gorgeous! Also, the woman in front of me had never seen the movie and was cracking up! I’m glad she enjoyed it and I didn’t give her a hard time about it, unlike the jerk I encountered at ‘Vertigo’ the previous day!

FUN FACT: Patrick Dennis, the man who wrote ‘Auntie Mame’ was married, had kids and was bisexual. He also was Ray Kroc’s (founder of McDonald’s) butler.

What do our "costumes" say about us as "characters?" Alan and I at a panel on costumes.

Instead of seeing Snow White or Thomas Crown Affair, we three went to a panel on costumes. The woman who designed the clothes in ‘Animal House’ and ‘Indiana Jones’ was speaking (and trying to sell a book.) She asked the crowd to look at their clothes and see what their look said about them. I looked down and thought, I’m a pretty put together person. Then, I looked around at the sea of Mom Jeans, sweatshirts tied around waists and the epic amount of frump that filled that room. A few days earlier I had a little tiff with a guy on Twitter. I freakin’ hate Twitter and the fact that I have to be on it to promote this blog chaps my ass. Anyway, this guy disagreed with me when I said there are very few youngsters at TCM…not that there’s anything wrong with that! He asked if I’d ever been to the Festival (all three years, douche bag) and said that he found it was full of really hip people.

Ok….sigh. Maybe this guy doesn’t want to face his own mortality because if he did he’d find that he’s no longer cool.  First of all, “hip people” never use the term “hip.” Second of all, I’m not wrong. Aside from a dozen people there, most patrons were not “hip.”

Roger making sure the brownie pie isn't poisoned.

We hit up The Grill for lunch, again. Just as good the second time around. I had ice cream for the first time in a year and it was freakin’ awesome! I HIGHLY suggest their brownie pie. After lunch, Roger went back for a nap and Alan and I went to see ‘Dr. No.’ I had never seen a James Bond movie on the big screen, so I went in with an open mind.

Bond Girls Maud Adams and Eunice Gayson with Ben Mankiewicz on Saturday at the 2012 TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood, California. 4/14/12 (Not my photo, it's by Mark Hill)

Two Bond girls were there. Eunice Gayson is so tini-tiny that she had to be helped up into the chair!  She commented that this film was the first time British ladies were “allowed” to be sexy. She played golf in a man’s dress shirt in the film…it’s a start I guess! She was defiantly more charming than Maud.  I liked the movie and wouldn’t be against watching more (older) Bond films. The sound was particularly good on this flick too, it probably helped that we sat next to the speakers!

We hustled over to Grauman’s for ‘Singing In The Rain.’ It was a full house in there. Debbie came out and looked AMAZING. I recorded the interview.

If you watch it you can hear me muttering about the assholes who were SO RUDE and came in and wandered around, trying to find seats, during her interview.

TCM: Next year, if people aren’t in their seats when the interview starts, tough tittie, you can go to it AFTER the interview is DONE.

I was pretty pissed.

That aside, Debbie could have talked for another hour because the audience (well, those who were sitting down!) were eating it up!

After the movie Gene Kelly’s widow, Patricia Ward Kelly, spoke. (And yes, more rude people got up and left during her time.) She apparently has 10 years worth of interviews from Gene and did back up Debbie’s comment about Gene having a hair piece. I was shocked because it’s looked really good for fake hair! She also said the Moses number (above) was, what Gene thought, his best tap number ever. It is pretty great.

Alan talked me into seeing ‘Marathon Man.’ I’d heard it was really scary and I’m a total wuss, but I trusted him. While we were waiting in line we met a woman born in 1928, she was pretty bad ass, and we also waited in line with Brett Ratner. He’s the d-bag who said bad things about gay people, then got fired from directing the Oscars last year…yea that guy, NOT hip, just in case you were wondering.

Before the movie Robert Evans spoke. He was a producer at Paramount in the 70’s  and responsible for movies like ‘Love Story,’ ‘ Chinatown,’ and ‘The Godfather.’ He also USED to be pretty hot. Used to is the key word.

Evans today: This is why I wear sunscreen.

His voice is ruined from decades of smoking, so he was hard to understand, but he sure does think a lot of himself. He did say that when the movie was made Lawrence Olivier had cancer and was broke. Because of this role, he was able to get jobs and lived for another 13 years.

Is it safe?

I LOVE Dustin Hoffman, but Lawrence Olivier MADE this movie. What a creepy bastard. During the  scene that I was afraid of,  Alan told me to cover my eyes and ears, but before I did, I saw a number of people trickle out because they couldn’t handle it either. Evans said when the movie was originally released people would RUN out of the theater during that scene.

I’m planning on going to New York this year and this movie didn’t help me think that city is very safe. Basically, some old Nazi could slit my throat in the middle of a crowd and no one would stop him. I’m dead meat.

The movie ended at about midnight and I went to bed with creepy thoughts of Lawrence Olivier cleaning my teeth! UGH!

TCM Film Festival 2012 Day 2: Destiny, Destiny, No Escaping That For Me

18 Apr

Igor: Could be worse.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How?
Igor: Could be raining.

So…I had such a good time at the Vanity Fair Party the night before that I woke up on Friday the 13th with my third hangover ever. I regret nothing. I ended up missing ‘Wings’ and broke my curling iron. It could be worse, it could’ve be raining…ah yes, it actually poured that day! A proper Friday the 13th I’d say.

Mac & Cheese and a French Dip. Perfect for a rainy day.

I met Alan and Roger for lunch. We tried a place at Hollywood & Highland called The Grill and it soon became a favorite place to go. I had cheese for the first time in months and it was great! After lunch Roger tagged out and took a nap while Alan and I went to see ‘20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.’

Kirk Douglas was there to speak. I saw him last year for ‘Spartacus’ and really enjoyed hearing him talk about his career and experiences. He’s 94 and used a cane but he moved so fast that it looked like he was skiing! He was asked if he remembered the song he sang in the film, he more than remembered it, he SANG it right there and had it down verbatim! That movie was made 58 years ago and he still knew it. What a pro!

I had never seen the film and it was beautiful on the big screen. I also developed a crush on the bearded, turtleneck wearing, salt & pepper haired Captain Nemo, played by James Mason. Mason was great as Mr. Norman Maine in ‘A Star is Born’, but wasn’t a sophisticated stud like Nemo. And no, Mom, he was NOT gay. Mason was married twice and had two kids, but I’m sure that’s not good enough evidence that my gaydar is improving. Bah!

Vertigo or LSD trip?

As soon as the film finished, we hopped back in line for ‘Vertigo’ and there was a LINE for that sucker. Kim Novak was speaking before hand so all the older men were hot and bothered over it. I’ve never been a huge Kim Novak fan. She’s not an amazing actress, she was pretty, that’s about it to me, I’m sure I’d feel differently if I were a dude.

Hot ladies of the world: STOP GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY!

Robert Osborne asked who had NOT seen the movie, I raised my hand. A gay dude behind me bitchily said, “You’ve never seen Vertigo?” and gave me a dismissive hand gesture. I gave him a “you’re a prick” facial expression Bea Arthur would have been proud of. Robert said that it was one of the best movies ever made. I rarely disagree with him but I will on this one. I thought the pace was really slow, I didn’t like Jimmy Stewart as a love interest and the ending where Novak gets scared by a nun makes NO sense.One thing EVERYONE at the Festival agreed on was, what the crap happened to her face? I know not everyone can age like Debbie Reynolds but jamming collagen into your face is NOT the answer.

Not an empty seat in the house!

We hustled down to the Egyptian to see the movie I’d waited all day for, ‘Young Frankenstein’ with Mel Brooks!! There was a honkin’ line for that one too. I mean, come on, Frankenstein, Mel Brooks, Friday the 13th, I’d say it was…destiny. What do you think Gene?

I saw Mel speak before when he spoke at ‘The Producers’ during the first TCM Festival and he was a doll. (Mel was married to Anne Bancroft aka Mrs. Robinson. I recently dated a guy who didn’t know of the character, or even the song, Mrs. Robinson. That relationship was dead in the water after I found that out.) Mel is 85, looks great, has the same fantastic voice and is quick as a whip, hilarious! I was in the third row from the front, he only spoke for 10 minutes but I could have listened to him for days. Here’s part of his interview, it’s a little grainy, but you get the gist of it.

The whole crowd was totally into the movie and laughed their asses off even though everyone had probably seen it a million times before. If you haven’t, do yourself a favor and go watch it now!

When the movie ended it was almost midnight. I bought a new curling iron, then hit the sack.

Nobody Does It Better

30 Mar

So…last weekend marked the one year anniversary of Liz Taylor’s death. I recently finished reading  Furious Love, a book about her affair/marriage(s) with Richard Burton. I realize that entire relationship was fueled by epic amounts of booze, but there’s still something about a really intense celebrity relationship that intrigues me. They’re supposed to be filled with over the top jewels, passion, parties and fighting that I, as a peasant, do not get to experience. With all the media surrounding them, celebrities today aren’t doing a great job keeping up the long tradition of gilded train wrecks. There’s Liz & Dick, Woody Allen & Soon Yi,  Wallis & David, Anderson & Lee, Davies & Hearst, Prince & Apollonia,  Napoleon & Josephine.  I could go back further but not everyone is a history buff like me. (Let’s face it, knowing who Liz Taylor and Richard Burton were is a stretch for some people!)

Really, what do we have today:

I guess when you wear a long, heavy dress, it's nice to air it out, right Angie?

Brad and Angie met making a movie and she broke up his marriage. Everyone thought they were the new Liz & Dick. What a let down!  Her headlines are nothing compared to Liz. She’s so skeletal that it makes the news when she eats a Big Mac. You’re an A lister, you can do better. I don’t even eat at McDonald’s for God’s sake, and I’m a nobody! When Liz Taylor was shooting Cleopatra, she had chili from Chasen’s in Beverly Hills FLOWN to her in Rome. That’s how you place an order!

Let’s not even talk about jewels.

In case you thought it looked small: 33.19 carat D color, flawless Asscher cut diamond ring with two diamonds adorning the sides, was sold for $8.8 million after Liz's death.

 

You lose Brad.

You know I love older dudes, go Marion!

L & D were not the first. I’ve talked about Marion Davies and Baller status Hearst before, but if anyone could out do Burton, it’s my boy Hearst. He bought Marion a beach house, jewels, movie studios, and wrote her love letters every night. What a guy! He and Marion had a torrid affair for decades and cheated on each other multiple times. If Liz Taylor was jealous, Hearst took it up a notch and straight up popped a cap in Thomas Ince. Why? Thomas was talking to Marion and from behind he looked like Charlie Chaplin, the guy Marion was doinking on the side (and on top and under). Let’s see Jen Aniston try something like that! Hearst got a doctor to take the bullet out of the dude’s brain and got him cremated before any investigation happened. He was never charged with anything! Owning the police, like I said, baller status.

Patricia Lake. Come on! She totally looks like Hearst. Who were they trying to fool?

Angie and Brad have a collection of children from around the world and have popped out a bunch of their own. Yawn.  A secret love child, wayyyyyyyyy more interesting. Even Diana Ross agrees with me! Tell ’em all about it Supremes.

They used to have those ALL the time in Hollywood. (Clark Gable’s, who looked JUST like him, died this year.) Marion and Hearst also had a love child that the Hearst family denies TO THIS DAY…even though she’s buried in Marion’s crypt.

I'm sorry Madonna ruined your love story with her dump hole of a movie.

And then there’s Wallis Simpson and David Windsor, ex-King of England. Yea, he gave up a country to be with her…top that everyone on this list. They were exiled to France, never to return to England (until David kicked the bucket) and had to deal with the horrible amounts of press. They didn’t have any friends who understood what this was like until they became pals with—Liz and Dick. True story.

With the stupid amounts of money people get paid to make movies now, it really shouldn’t be that hard for them to try to become the relationship Hindenburgs we all want to watch.

 

 

Hitler in Hollywood

22 Mar

Does this mustache make me look fat?

So…no one can resist the alluring sparkle of Hollywood. Not even Hitler.

I know a lot of weird little facts, but I did not know that Hitler was planning on coming to Los Angeles. The only thing Hollywood and Hitler related I was aware of was his weird fascination with Clark Gable. (I can’t judge him for his impeccable taste in men!) During WWII, Hitler offered a sizable reward to anyone who could capture and bring Gable to him unharmed. What was he going to do with Gable if he was caught? Play cards? I think not.

Anyway, the Nazis in LA set up a ranch for  his arrival. The place is called Murphy Ranch and his plot of land was outfitted with a diesel power plant, a 375,000 gallon water tank, a giant meat locker and a bomb shelter. Who designed that place, the dad from ‘Blast From The Past?’

It's a bit of a fixer upper.

The Feds  raided the compound the day after Pearl Harbor and a bunch of Nazi-sympathizers were rounded up and arrested. What’s left of this place is going to be torn down in order to build a rest site for campers.

Now, let’s get back to the thought of Hitler in Hollywood. I feel like that is a Mel Brooks movie/musical waiting to happen!

Hitler would sneak into LA on the sly. He changes his name and decides to go after his true dream, becoming a STAR! He works his way up the ranks at a movie studio and he can’t help but fall in love with the daughter of a Jewish studio head.  Because of her he changes and becomes a better person and therefore a better actor. With the support of his best gal, he finally lands his break out role and as he accepts his Oscar, he reveals his true identity.

Eh, I’m sure Mel could do something a lot better with the idea, but it’s interesting to think about.

Nelson Riddle and his whole “snitch ass bitch” Orchestra performing ‘Hooray For Hollywood.’